algagrass | In my defense I have no defense.

CHARACTERS: Dirk Strider (

splinterself) and various and sundry other people who can speak for themselves.
DATE: The 20th, thus allowing for people to tag into both. Huzzah.
RATING: PG13
SUMMARY: I joked about a bunch of horrified level 1-2 people staring at the level for the dungeon before going off and getting e-beers. I was encouraged. Also, I'm starting with prose just because that's how I roll with intro posts, but brackets are strongly encouraged if that's what makes your soul happy.

...and after some stuff which doesn't particularly matter Dirk was staring at the level info for Δ Choosing Superior Offerings. Level 11 temple dungeon? He'd get his ass kicked.

In time he would go back and deal with this issue, go find people to team up with, whatever. But for now? Now? Goddamn.

So he turned to the nearest person who looks plausibly lost, alarmed, bemused, or other such reactions and said, "Hey. I don't know about you but I'm tired of dungeons right now. Know where a guy can get a drink?"

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"Yeah, true." It's not like they were going to be out for the flesh of a few players who, for all they knew, were of-age individuals who just happened to have a thing for characters who were thirteen-to-fifteen-year-old boys. They won't come stalking at night, lighting their torches and riding noble steeds. And they definitely won't screw their courage to anything. No, they're just... okay with it. Huh. That was easy. Maybe humans didn't care so much after all.

Sollux reached into one of his many, many pockets. He scowled. "Thould have gone on that thtupid quetht anyway," he muttered, displeased with the contents -- or lack thereof.

This is why he doesn't drink.

He glanced over and hazarded a guess as to the troll's hesitation. It was a tale as old as time: someone going out discovering that they were a few boondollars short of what they had expected. No big deal. "What do you want? I can cover you." Pause. He added, "I mean, the experience sucked but the monsters outside were at least decent when it came to dropping money."

"You thure?" he asked. "Thith thit geth pretty thteep." But he didn't make any further comment on that matter. When prompted on what he wanted to drink he responded with 'Whatever', asked for some good old fashioned bar food as well, and turned his attention back on Dirk. "Tho, I don't think I got your name. It'h probably gonna burn my tongue with how thtupid it ith, but gotta be polite." Bullshit, of course. But you at least got to try not being mean and coarse and unrefined with the guy who's buting you beer.

"Yeah, why the fuck not. I've got all of this cash, it might as well be good for something." Plus, he fully intended on pestering the guy with questions later and getting his money's worth that way. Good times. He too attended to the formalities of getting food, essentially picking his drink from random in his quest to try everything, almost absently adding, "And it's Dirk Strider."

He stared at Dirk for a few seconds, apparently trying to size up the genuineness of the offer. Eventually, however, it seemed to pass the test; he shrugged and said, "Huh. Thankth." As such, he didn't bat an eyelash at the reckless abandon with which his companion was adding more food to the bill. He reached for his glass, settled the grimoire precariously on his lap, and prepared for a very long night.

"Thtrider. Right," he said, almost absently trying to figure out a way he could turn that into Sollux shorthand. DK? It certainly said Dirk, but Sollux liked to know both names. You never know -- there are some weird names where last names stick way better than first ones. (Looking at you, pony boy.) Strider wasn't really one of those names, so he decided to stick with DK. This is one kid who takes his nicknames very seriously. "Where you from, then? I'm guething Earth already, tho don't try it, thmartath."

His wallet would be empty after this night, but...why save it, really.

"Got it in one. I'm from an post-apocalyptic Earth after it was taken over by a sea troll empress we call the Batterwitch." The peanuts weren't too bad. Acceptable. Salty, and not in a bad way. "Her Imperious Condescension. Her rise to power was a dark era in humanity's history."

He leans his head on his hand, listening to Dirk's little story. Eventually, he sighed when her full name was mentioned. "We have her, yeah. It wath only a matter of time before the thet her thighths on Earth." They were all a little surprised that she hadn't, once they realized its creation themselves; of course, by that point, the Condesce was dead, so there was no need to zip their lips about the existence of a civilized planet that the Alternian Empire had not yet eaten for breakfast.

"Maybe it's the same seawitch." This was said with a bit of a laugh (only a bit, slight, more like the shadow of a smile than any real mirth): on one hand, the odds were so improbable that the very thought seemed absurd. On the other hand, his entire existence hinged upon a series of improbabilities.

"But I doubt it. From what information could be gathered, there was an apocalypse upon her home planet and her civilization was destroyed with her the sole survivor."

"Unless there are two planets at different points in time that just so happened to be called Earth, be populated by things called humans, and had Sburb slam down on them on four kids each, one from each planet having the last name of Strider... then yeah, it's not likely." Sollux smiles mirthlessly, mention of the Batterwitch turning on a lot of thought channels that really shouldn't be turned on at the same time. Meanwhile, Gira casually drops the lithp from written conversation because it was getting awkward.

"So it's probably the same sea troll."

After all, life, coincidences. Things like that. And coincidentally beer tasted nasty and so (after making a grimace) Dirk decided to stick with water. He needed something to wash the salt down with.

"Which brings up the next question of what the hell happened to your guys' planet."

He shrugged at that question, continuing to drink the beer like a MAN. Or just a troll who's more than used to disgusting things going down his gullet. "Obviously, Sburb ransacked it at a point in time. That's kind of inevitable. So she must have done it at some point before that, and also at some point before Earth detonated. But the Earth I saw didn't look anywhere near post-apocalyptic, so what, did she just... run away?" The thought was almost inconceivable. The Condesce, on a normal day, did not run away from anything.

"Well. Assuming that it's the same crazy genocidal sea hag we're talking about," and that was still an if: recent events had more than proven that there were at least one alternate universe him, after all. "Assuming that's true, I heard rumors that she had some kind of superior. Some demon, crueler than she was: the only thing she feared."

There was a pause, punctuated by a bit of water. "Who knows if that's true." He had reason to believe it was (if not, why would Jake's grandmother get killed?) but it was far from a confirmation.

The Condesce had a superior? Really? Sollux found that hard to believe, but that was mostly because he had grown up on Alternia, where she was touted as the absolute superpower of the universe. It was entirely possible, since when one got down to it, there was almost nobody of his age who knew much about the Condesce at all. (And if there was, a yellowblood like him would not be it.) "...It's possible," he admitted finally. "She has a knack for keeping things under wraps if she wants them to be."

Seriously, you'd be amazed how much you learned by having the Empress-to-be as a feelings jam partner.

In my defense I have no defense.

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BOWS FOREVER. how did I miss this.

Enjoy the tumor returning.

It's these yellowbloods man, they attract tags like fucking magnets.

So it seems.

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